It probably goes without saying that the Baymont Inn and Suites is not known for having much along the lines of an espresso bar. We snagged a quick breakfast there this morning —the usual yogurt, bagel, banana — then hit the road. And by the time we stopped for gas outside of Colorado Springs, I was craving caffeine.
Lucky us! Just across the road from the gas station, next to a sprawling farm stand, there was a drive-up espresso stand. While Keith fueled up, Clare and I ambled over to get a couple of cups to go.
We skirted a long line of contractor pick-up trucks in the drive-thru to get to the walk-up window, then stood there pondering the menu. I had settled on just a cup of strong dark roast, and Clare figured she’d get her usual hot chocolate when the barista appeared in the window and cheerfully asked if she could take our order. Oh — and also, she was clad only in skimpy black lingerie.
I was simply flabbergasted. For a moment, I thought I had made a mistake. Then, in the next moment, I was certain the universe was playing a practical joke me. I stood there with my chin on the ground, scratching my head and trying to make sense of what was happening. I ran through all the possibilities: Did I accidentally walk into this woman’s house? Is this a private club? Did she forget to get dressed this morning? Does she know what she’s wearing?
I took a couple of steps back and glanced up at the sign on the building, to make sure I was in the right place. Embellished with a couple of bikini-clad mudflap women, the sign read “Espresso X” — how had I missed that? That long line of pick-up trucks in the drive-thru suddenly made a lot more sense.
Apparently, in Colorado Springs, espresso stands staffed by scantily clad women are a thing.**
Clare and I composed ourselves enough to place an order, and when the young woman turned around to prepare our beverages, we couldn’t help but notice her bare butt cheeks hanging all the way out of her g-string. Clare. Clare! I had brought by daughter to the X-rated espresso stand, and she will never un-see that!
The young woman handed us our drinks, and we couldn’t get away from there fast enough.
But as we walked back across the street to the gas station, it struck both of us that it would be really funny to send Keith over there for a drink. We watched from a distance and giggled as we watched his expression shift as he realized what was going on. And now, as I type this, I am deeply ashamed of myself for using that poor young woman to play a joke on my husband.
Natalie, of course, couldn’t resist a visit herself, so she went over and chatted up this young woman — reporting back to us that her name is Amanda and she attends a nearby community college.Leave it to Natalie to find the humanity in the situation.
** A quick Google search reveals that Colorado Springs has not only an Espresso X but also a place called Bikini Espresso and another called Babes Espresso. The Google reviews of Espresso X are priceless. Poor, poor, sweet Maria S. says, “My husband loves this place. I have been there and the women are friendly.” Gary C. says, “The lady’s (sic) are awesome and the coffee is great!” And thank God for Shane C., who addresses the elephant in the room with his comment, “Classy. The place is clean!! Hygiene looks to be a policy.”
We spent the rest of the day driving across Kansas. We found a Hyatt Place in Topeka where we’re spending the night. After another long day of driving, tomorrow we’ll get home. Unless our moon roof implodes, or unless we stumble across an X-rated Dairy Queen between here and Lafayette, this seems as good a place as any to sign off for this year. Thank you so much for following our adventures in the Southwest! We hope you can catch up with us again next year!
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